My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?

You didn’t expect this, but you just got the word. She’s pregnant. In situations like these, you don’t have much control, but you do have plenty of influence. How you react to and support your partner will reflect more about your character than likely any event in your life up to this point.

As such, it’s essential to keep a level head and respond instead of reacting. In this blog, we’ll help you understand what she’s feeling, what your options are, and where you can go from here.

Is My Girlfriend Pregnant?

Before responding at all, it’s important to know whether or not your girlfriend is actually pregnant. If you two haven’t already, you need to take a pregnancy test. If your girlfriend needs one, Alpha Women’s Center offers lab-quality pregnancy tests at no cost.

If you’ve already had a positive pregnancy test, then the next step is to confirm the pregnancy with an ultrasound.

Why? A positive test detects pregnancy hormones, but it can’t tell you if the pregnancy is developing in the uterus or if it’s viable. An ultrasound can help confirm how far along she is and whether the pregnancy is progressing.

Alpha Women’s Center provides limited obstetric ultrasounds for your partner at no charge, and you’re welcome to accompany her to the appointment.

What Not To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant

In situations like these, you’re likely feeling like everything is out of your control, and to a great extent, it is.

Before getting into what you should do, let’s start with what you shouldn’t do.

Don’t Walk Away.

When things get stressful, your fight-or-flight response kicks in. Resist it. She’s experiencing intense physical and emotional changes—and your steady presence matters.

You may feel the urge to run and avoid the situation entirely—don’t.

Don’t Fight.

It can be tempting to let fear and anxiety come out as frustration. Her emotions are running high, and yours may be too—arguments are easy to start and hard to undo.

Your role right now is to listen and affirm. You might feel pressure to “fix” everything immediately, but what she needs most is your calm support and consistency. Showing up—without judgment—goes further than you think.

What Options Are There?

To be clear, as far as the pregnancy is concerned, the only person with options is your partner. Generally speaking, she can choose to carry the pregnancy to term and parent, place the child for adoption, or have an abortion.

Unmarried women with an unplanned pregnancy usually choose to carry about 60 percent of the time and to abort about 40 percent of the time.¹

Remember, abortion is a serious decision—never pressure her toward any outcome. Women who report choosing abortion due to partner pressure are more likely to experience significant mental health challenges, including PTSD.² Your job is to support her, provide space, and seek solid information together.

It’s her body and ultimately her choice, but she doesn’t have to face it alone. You both deserve time to talk through what this means for your future, goals, and values.

“I’m Not Ready To Be A Dad.”

Maybe you’re open to being a dad—just not now. That’s normal.

No one feels fully prepared for fatherhood on day one. But fatherhood can draw out a deeper part of you—a protector and provider who is willing to grow. You don’t have to have every answer today. Start by choosing to be present tomorrow.

Great dads aren’t perfect; they’re committed. Ask yourself: Am I available? Willing? Ready to learn?

Don’t let fears about finances, social life, or missed opportunities define your choice. There are practical resources to help you and your partner, and many worries shrink once you have a plan. Plenty of men regret walking away; very few regret leaning in.

Support In Alabama

You don’t have to take on fatherhood alone. Alpha Women’s Center supports both you and your partner with no-cost services—relationship support, fatherhood mentoring, parenting education, and access to tangible baby supplies. We can also connect you with community and medical resources.

Reach out to Alpha Women’s Center to schedule a no-cost appointment, ask questions, or learn more about next steps.

Sources

1. https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-and-abortion-northern-america
2. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08862605241253026